i dont know why my beamp keeps disabling my mods when i try to join my own beamp server
Unless your Server has the same mods this is expected
In order to prevent conflicts BeamMP disables all other mods, this is not an issue because client side mods (mods installed only to your computer) don’t work in multiplayer. In order to use mods on servers/multiplayer they need to be installed on the server. You can find instructions on this here Server | BeamMP.
Hope that helps!